Have yourself a Merry little Christmas..

I'm sitting here in my family room, accompanied by silence. My husband is sitting on the couch reading a book, the TV is off and there is no music playing. It's blissful to know that you can sit in silence with the one you love.. but just having them nearby is more than enough. Unfortunately for me, silence isn't entirely golden. Most people enjoy the quiet - it's a break from the unending hurry life tends to present. For me personally, the quiet is a time to be alone with my thoughts. The truth of the matter is, my thoughts never leave me. They linger constantly - quiet little whispers at night, on to a low humming throughout the day. I know I've written about this before.. so I won't waste too much time on it now.

Some days though, I wish I could just turn it off.

I did come to the realization that I have had one day like this - my wedding day. I wasn't sure what to make of the fact that absolutely nothing bothered me on June 20, 2008 - maybe I was in some form of shock for the vast changes that would begin once I walked down that aisle. Or maybe I just turned off my emotions in case anything went wrong, this would allow me not to panic. The truth of the matter was: my brain was silent. For one day, my mind was silent to all the criticisms and analyzing that normally swirl about without ceasing. And I realized that I had no focus on anything except one thing..

David.

We did it. We had made it to a day that we thought would take an eternity to arrive.. and we made it through smiling. It truly was.. the best day of my life.


As I sit here, nearly six months later, that thought is still so strong within me. I have a home and a husband. God has blessed me so richly - not with things and possessions that mean nothing as time passes, but with the insurmountable joy that can only be found when we know He is Sovereign and Gracious to His children.

My little Christmas tree (which is quite lovely if I do say so myself) reminds me of these gifts that the Lord so willingly bestows upon me every day. This season is WHY I can say that I am a child of the Living God. The birth of baby Jesus separated life and death for this creation. Regardless of the twisted reasons for celebrating Christmas in winter - the Reason for the Season remains the same. I am in constant awe of His goodness.

It's sad for those whose hope is in things of this world - they will fail us. People fail, things fade away; we are but finite creatures.. wandering to our resting place.

I have so much more floating around in my head.. but for now.. I will retire. I want to cuddle with my hubby.