Sleep can be so elusive sometimes. Today is one of those days.. I can't quite seem to grasp it before it slips right through my fingers. My husband is sleeping, probably will be for at least another two hours. I am perpetually awake.
Do you think in your sleep?
I do.
It's strange to wake up with an idea for solving a problem at work. Or some other strange occurance of realizing what I forgot at the grocery store. Not sure if anyone else does that, but it's a very odd occurrence. I suppose this post's beginning lives up to my "daily ramblings" blog title. One's mind isn't ready for a serious post when one has been awake since 6 am for no apparent reason. Well.. most minds aren't.. but mine never really slept.
My last blog was angry, to say the least. I couldn't seem to shake that feeling. Another example of my nocturnal thoughts. I went to bed upset by that stupid movie and woke up with those thoughts in my head. I have this unsettling feeling that I have allowed myself to be construed as something I am not. Case and point: I wouldn't usually write such a bold blog as my previous one. I am not ashamed of my faith or what I feel, but I tend to shy away from being so blunt about sensitive issues. I demand respect for my beliefs and morals, so I give it in return. Calling people stupid for what they hold most dear in their hearts, is not anyone's right. I know people who take it upon themselves to not only slam the opposition, but to also make their own points seem superior to the opposition. Mental, moral, political superiority.. my, my.. aren't you the smart one.
I have little patience for stupidity. This being an understatement, I should probably explain myself. I am a woman. Much of my fellow female race has allowed themselves to fall prey to being "girly." Now, before everyone gets upset by this statement, I will explain. Being "girly" is so different than embracing femininity. I cannot for the life of me understand why women use themselves in a sexual way to achieve status. This is not necessarily bound to the act of sex, it's more meant to say, "think for yourselves!" Having sexual intimacy is a beautiful thing, and unfortunately in this day and age, it has lost it's beauty and sacredness. Sexuality (and it's current perversions) is another one of those issues that I am careful about on most days.. today is one of them. It's too early to tackle all my issues with that one.
Seasons come and go. Summer has whispered it's last breath.. the leaves are changing colors and everything is beautiful right now. All aside for the hideous noise coming from the road construction. Some countries consider subjecting a human being with a single, repetitive noise a form of torture. I no longer wonder why. I love this season. It's an explosion of color. I look around my apartment at my fall decorations and wonder at what an Amazing God I serve. One with such a Creative Hand.. colors like this never were so beautiful.
My mind is scattered this morning.. forgive the shifting shape of this blog. For now, I sit here and wait for my husband to wake up.. maybe I'll watch my wedding DVD. It reminds me of many blessings I have in my life. It also reminds me where to be watchful. Weddings can bring out the best and worst in people. I learned that in an interesting way.
Today is just one of my daily ramblings..
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Not for the faint of heart..
Lately I have been thinking. Lately I have been thinking about the world and where it's headed. Lately, I've been wondering whether bringing children up in this world would be worthwhile. Lately, I am disappointed with so many things. Lately, I'm not sure how people look themselves in the mirror when everything that flows from their mouths is sheer ignorance.
I am angry. I am irritated. I am disappointed. I am in awe. I am existing on the hope that things may change. I am a woman who knows my strengths and my limitations. I am a bond-servant of Jesus Christ. All I am.. is nothing. Who I am.. is nothing.
Why is it that people find such worth in emptiness? Who are we trying to please? I can tell you from experience that you won't find ONE person who won't let you down. It's in our nature to be that way; self-seeking, self-centered and fickle.
This is not meant to be a slam on humanity, or a depressing look into where my thoughts have been lately. I am simply venting, like so many people do, about the state in which I find my generation. I am sick and disgusted with people misrepresenting the God I serve. I am sick of the liberalism that infects every faction of life in this country. Call me whatever you want; narrow-minded, judgemental, mindless. None of these things offend me, nor do they describe me.
I watched a movie last night that was stupid from beginning to end. The previews started the drivel and it didn't end until the movie was over. I sat there wondering where this life is headed. Where people can sit on their couches and shake their fists at things they don't know or understand. Where our soldiers are mistreated and forgotten because this war was a "mistake." Where did people go wrong? When was a human life, whether the life be a soldier or one of an unborn child, become so inconsequntial and unimportant? I am frightened of bringing children into this world.
I am not ignorant to my limits. However, I am not on some mission for MY voice to be heard. I have nothing important to say. All I want is for my life to be seen as an example. For people to look at me and say, "I want what she has." THIS is making a difference people, not protests in the middle of crowded streets. Not shaking your fists at your television set without even the faintest knowledge of what's ACTUALLY going on in the world. My parents immigrated here from the middle east. You want some questions answered, ask people who were THERE. Take your documentaries and burn them. This is ignorance. Speaking against something you don't know.
"The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die boldly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one." - Unknown -
I'm not sure who wrote that quote. I read it at the end of The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Sallinger. I wonder how many people will attempt to die boldly for a cause they don't even fully comprehend. This is an obvious exemption for our soldiers who are called to this life. Without going in to specifics (in the interest of time and other things), this is where I stand.
My name is Laura. I am a married twenty-something and am very content with my life. I have a wonderful husband and a supportive, loving family. I serve my God with as much humility and love that I possess in this body. I am in no way perfect or right. My morals are based on Biblical truths (for all you "Christians" who think the Bible should be loosely translated, shame on you), this being the road-map for my life. I am not ashamed of being a Christian. I am not afaid of people looking at these statements and thinking that I am stupid. I am not swayed by "logical arguments" that the Bible isn't the Living Word of God; in fact, I'm infuriated by those statements. I have no need in my life for people whose sole purpose in life is to pick fights and change my mind. Being a mindful and respectful person is a key to sustaining a lasting friendship. I have respect for all people and their beliefs, even if I don't agree with them. So don't try to change mine.
1 John 1
That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life— the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us— that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete. This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us
I am angry. I am irritated. I am disappointed. I am in awe. I am existing on the hope that things may change. I am a woman who knows my strengths and my limitations. I am a bond-servant of Jesus Christ. All I am.. is nothing. Who I am.. is nothing.
Why is it that people find such worth in emptiness? Who are we trying to please? I can tell you from experience that you won't find ONE person who won't let you down. It's in our nature to be that way; self-seeking, self-centered and fickle.
This is not meant to be a slam on humanity, or a depressing look into where my thoughts have been lately. I am simply venting, like so many people do, about the state in which I find my generation. I am sick and disgusted with people misrepresenting the God I serve. I am sick of the liberalism that infects every faction of life in this country. Call me whatever you want; narrow-minded, judgemental, mindless. None of these things offend me, nor do they describe me.
I watched a movie last night that was stupid from beginning to end. The previews started the drivel and it didn't end until the movie was over. I sat there wondering where this life is headed. Where people can sit on their couches and shake their fists at things they don't know or understand. Where our soldiers are mistreated and forgotten because this war was a "mistake." Where did people go wrong? When was a human life, whether the life be a soldier or one of an unborn child, become so inconsequntial and unimportant? I am frightened of bringing children into this world.
I am not ignorant to my limits. However, I am not on some mission for MY voice to be heard. I have nothing important to say. All I want is for my life to be seen as an example. For people to look at me and say, "I want what she has." THIS is making a difference people, not protests in the middle of crowded streets. Not shaking your fists at your television set without even the faintest knowledge of what's ACTUALLY going on in the world. My parents immigrated here from the middle east. You want some questions answered, ask people who were THERE. Take your documentaries and burn them. This is ignorance. Speaking against something you don't know.
"The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die boldly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one." - Unknown -
I'm not sure who wrote that quote. I read it at the end of The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Sallinger. I wonder how many people will attempt to die boldly for a cause they don't even fully comprehend. This is an obvious exemption for our soldiers who are called to this life. Without going in to specifics (in the interest of time and other things), this is where I stand.
My name is Laura. I am a married twenty-something and am very content with my life. I have a wonderful husband and a supportive, loving family. I serve my God with as much humility and love that I possess in this body. I am in no way perfect or right. My morals are based on Biblical truths (for all you "Christians" who think the Bible should be loosely translated, shame on you), this being the road-map for my life. I am not ashamed of being a Christian. I am not afaid of people looking at these statements and thinking that I am stupid. I am not swayed by "logical arguments" that the Bible isn't the Living Word of God; in fact, I'm infuriated by those statements. I have no need in my life for people whose sole purpose in life is to pick fights and change my mind. Being a mindful and respectful person is a key to sustaining a lasting friendship. I have respect for all people and their beliefs, even if I don't agree with them. So don't try to change mine.
1 John 1
That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life— the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us— that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete. This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us
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